Siblings

Words by Sandra Wallace
Photography provided by Darla McDavid




Six siblings; I’m sure we all have our own way of describing each other. The first was the creative, fun one with beads hanging in her bedroom doorway. She introduced all of us younger kids to music and the arts. The second was mysterious to me. He was the one that I feel I never really knew. The third was the artistic and goofy one. The fourth was the athlete. He was the charmer and the ladies’ man. The fifth was the smart, pretty, and popular one. I rounded it off by being the quiet, shy, skinny one. We all shared a lot of harsh memories but there were so many good memories that we shared as well.

There are three of us left here in Santa Barbara and I truly cherish our times together as they become fewer and farther in between.

There are three of us left here in Santa Barbara and I truly cherish our times together as they become fewer and farther in between. Celebrating a birthday, a holiday, or just a simple dinner with my children, family, and friends is one of my greatest joys. I love sitting around the table as my brother, sister, and I share those harsh memories. Time has softened them and made them laughable. The icing on the cake is rounding the dinner off by filling the air with our loud voices and laughter from an exciting game of CatchPhrase.



Last year the three of us recently visited our aunts, uncles, and cousins at a small birthday reunion in Inglewood. I felt such a strong sense of belonging and happiness that day. To look into the face of my aunt who looked so much like me was surreal. This day made me wonder if my brothers and sisters and I would ever all be together again. It seems highly unlikely, but it would be such a trip as it has been over 40 years since we’ve all seen each other together. I imagine that if that were to happen, the sense of belonging I’d feel would be incredibly overwhelming.

I felt such a strong sense of belonging and happiness that day. To look into the face of my aunt who looked so much like me was surreal.

My hope is that my children do not stray too far from one another. Many years from now, I hope that they will be sharing holidays and dinners together with their own families and friends. I hope that they find themselves playing games that they love as they reminisce of the good old days playing CatchPhrase with us. I hope that they are able to sit around the table telling stories of their own harsh memories because time has softened them and made laughable.