A New Chapter

Words & Photography
by Katie Emmons



Sitting in Scarlett’s nursery putting the final coats on her dresser, thinking how freaking fast this pregnancy is going to go! Only one more month before I’m in my third trimester, and as relieved as I am that this is my last pregnancy, because holy crap my body could not take carrying another baby (can anyone say back aches?!), I know that there will come a day where I will mourn this season of my life coming to an end.

But I would be lying if I didn’t also whisper that I’m also slightly paralyzed by the fear of losing that part of my identity....the bringing a new life into the world, the starting over...

Come December, my life changes forever. Every new stage will be like closing a chapter and moving on. The days of longing for the tininess and slowness that a new baby brings, will no longer be something to satisfy, but something to process and accept, and press forward. I’m so looking forward to what that new part of my life will look like with my children, as they will continue to grow and change and teach me along the way, I really am. But I would be lying if I didn’t also whisper that I’m also slightly paralyzed by the fear of losing that part of my identity....the bringing a new life into the world, the starting over, the possibility of new life...it’s over in just a few months.

I’m ready, but I’m not. Does that make sense??