The Bigger Picture

Words & Photography
by Kara Layne



I got frustrated. The kids were off at school and I had mentally planned on a few things I wanted to get to right away knowing that Brooks would be headed down for a nap. The problem? Brooks wanted nothing to do with a nap. Time continued to tick by and my patience grew thinner and thinner.

Jarett arrived home and after noticing that I was a bit tense and having asked what happened, I began to vent. And of course, with that, came the LIST of things I could be getting done if it wasn’t for Brooks. And hearing those words come out of my mouth, I became emotional and my eyes welled with tears. It brought me right back to the shock I felt last January when we were surprised to find out we were expecting cub number five. There I was, just a little over one year away from all of my kiddos being in school and me being able to REALLY focus on my professional life during normal hours. I struggled for the first several weeks of pregnancy knowing I would be back at the starting gate.

...I began to vent. And of course, with that, came the LIST of things I could be getting done if it wasn’t for Brooks. And hearing those words come out of my mouth, I became emotional and my eyes welled with tears.

And then yesterday. Feeling those same feelings a year and a half later. With the emotion and stress, the thought just crept in. Heaven bless my understanding and patient husband who just gave me a hug, kissed me on the forehead and said, "Be patient. This is going so fast."

And just like that Brooks crawled over to me, used my legs to pull himself to his feet and looked up at me with a big smile on his face. I scooped him up, nuzzled him for a second and my entire body relaxed.

My frustration dissipated, however the guilt pretty much hung around for the rest of the day. I’m sure I’m not the only mama to experience feelings like this in moments of frustration (at least I really hope I’m not). But this photo? This was just last week, right?! It IS going fast and yesterday was yet another reminder to keep my focus on my patience as well as the bigger picture. Because that bigger picture is a mighty sweet one.

To my fellow mamas out there, I feel you. IN ALL THE FEELS.