Past Life

Words & Photography
by Madina Matters



We walked my new beauty from Veloretti for the first time and then sat in a cafe with a delicious rhubarb lemonade today. And as we sat there - Aveline running around, grabbing everything from the tables, wearing my jewelry and climbing the armchairs, and me trying to minimize any damage (or at least cover it with booklets lying around) - I watched ladies sitting at the tables next to us. They were all around my age, good-looking, calm, working on their laptops or chatting with their boyfriends. And I vaguely remembered my similar self a couple of years ago, even before I met Midas, when I would sit somewhere that relaxed, all time for myself, no one waiting for me at home. I briefly missed that care-free feeling of total independence. And the next second I couldn't bear the thought that our baby was not in my life back then.

I briefly missed that care-free feeling of total independence. And the next second I couldn't bear the thought that our baby was not in my life back then.

Smiling, I put Aveline on my lap and suggested to rub our noses as I had taught her earlier today. Do you know this feeling, when you miss your past life and yet wouldn't change a thing in it now?