Somebody's Baby

Words & Photography
by Caroline Snider



Today before we caught the train back to our home, the one whose sight caught at the end of a country road makes the air in our lungs relax and calm prevail within our bones, we were approached by a very confused man who asked your Daddy and I for some change. Without any in either of our wallets I offered that we were happy to buy him some lunch instead and he agreed. A small grapefruit juice and a pastry. A grand total of $6.88. I say that because it’s important to me that you know this isn’t a story about your parents doing a very small good deed. Because it was just that, small and insignificant on the relentless scale of help and kindness this gentlemen needed. His wrists were adorned with hospital tags and scars and he was clearly very alone and very much in need of help. Help bigger than either of us could offer.

During our minutes long interaction he asked if it was ok before selecting each item, and each time I told him yes. As I handed over my card to pay for this meager spread he asked me, "It’s okay if I call you Mom right?" Before I could answer, he turned and left.

And I don’t know, my baby, those words have repeatedly punched me in the gut since he asked them. Maybe he didn’t know what he was saying? It’s likely. Or maybe he did, maybe he could sense I was a woman lost deep in the years of Mothering, putting the needs of others before my own. Maybe he saw you and could see just how safe you were. Maybe he sensed the care in me he so desperately needed in his own life. I don’t know.

...he came into the world in the exact same way you did. He was somebody’s baby. Who knows what life handed him as he grew. Life can be so cruel... I hope there was a time he was cradled against somebody’s chest safely just as you were tonight. I hope there was a time when he was looked after before the world turned it’s back on him.

All I know, my son...and I want you to remember this, is he came into the world in the exact same way you did. He was somebody’s baby. Who knows what life handed him as he grew. Life can be so cruel. As I laid you down to sleep I kept thinking of him. I hope there was a time he was cradled against somebody’s chest safely just as you were tonight. I hope there was a time when he was looked after before the world turned it’s back on him.

You smiled at him for a moment because your beautiful heart has yet to learn how we pick and chose the people we embrace. I hope you never lose that.