Potty Training

Words & Photography
by Jena Roach



Every party has a pooper.

I feel as though I connected with my daughter on a deep emotional level when I plopped her on the porcelain throne and explained, “Yeah, they like to watch. You’re just gonna have to drop it like it’s hot in front of your pee-ple, honey. You can do this. If your mama can get through a raging river of Big D in the church bathroom with your three-year-old sister loudly narrating and accurately describing my bowel situation to a very crowded restroom of friends, then trust me, you CAN and WILL tinkle in front of your cheerleading siblings. Consider it good practice for when you become a mama, OKKKURR?”

I feel as though I connected with my daughter on a deep emotional level when I plopped her on the porcelain throne and explained, "Yeah, they like to watch..."

There will be light at the end of this potty training poop tunnel, but until then…I’m just channeling my inner paranoid parental parrot and asking, “DO YOU HAVE TO GO?” every two minutes. We may be shipping her to college in Depends, but her sister and I are giving it ALL we got over here. I mean, Sawyer (unprompted) made her a motivational poster (“PE POOP”) and taped it in the bathroom for her “to have something to read in here.” So, Channing, you got no excuses!