It's Okay

Words & Photography
by Rebecca Heart



I posted this last night. For thirty minutes I had this picture up with some meaningful words (the only one I posted all week), and I deleted it. I DELETED IT. What is wrong with me? When did I start caring so much about what people thought? About how people interpreted me?

I kid you not, everytime I post I go through ALL possible responses. Things people might think or feel when reading it. How it might be misunderstood or judged. That bathing suit pic? Guys, I was sweating for 24 hours straight. I was a MESS.

I'd love to brush it off and say, "People aren't nearly as critical as you think they are."...but they are, and ya know how I know that? Cause I am.

I'm an over thinking, overly-sensitive feeler, and it works for me just as much as it works against me. Could someone point me to the grace buffet? Cuz this girl could use a refill. 

I'm an over thinking, overly-sensitive feeler, and it works for me just as much as it works against me. Could someone point me to the grace buffet? Cuz this girl could use a refill. I'm constantly evaluating my little cubical on this space. Is it positive? Is it too fluffy? Too heavy? Too real? Real enough? Can you tell who I am? Like really am?

I think it was Sarah Landry that said it first and it hit home so hard..."You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea." I repeat. You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Brb while I write that on every post it note I can find and throw it up all over my house. Because you know what, IT'S OKAY.

"Put on your big girl panties." I tell myself. "Have the courage to be disliked today." Take the pic, write the caption, post it anyways. It doesn't matter if you have 50 followers, 500, 5k, or 5 mil. We all feel it. The social media "ruts". The comparison game. The need to justify what we're posting and what we're not. "I post pretty pics because", "I post real pics because", "I'm vulnerable because", "I'm not because", throw in the "I wish I had's" and the "why don't I's" and gosh, does that make anyone else tired? Cause I am.

So here I go, posting the same damn pic to say, "Hey, it's me, the real me, the naked at times, funny at others, me. Wanna be friends?" Cause if not (I'm finally learning) that's o k a y too.